Allison Unfiltered

Toilet water is the least of my worries...

The nice thing about having a face like this is that you can chew up your Mom's glasses, her hearing aid, and her underwear, destroy three pairs of shoes and one brand-new set of slippers, rip up the carpet, scratch up the glass doors, growl at the nice lady next door, terrorize the cats and steal their food, unearth and chew through the contents of a (disgusting) bathroom wastebasket, and at the end of the day, all you do is pull out that little Love Me Do face and you're Mama's little boy again.

Comes in quite handy, yep.

Don't mess with THIS puppy.

Just for the record...

Hear ye: I posted MY animals under the tree picture before Dooce posted hers.

So what if the picture quality is better, her animals clearly not drugged, and her floor cleaner? 

The point?  The point is that I posted it first.  So there. 

And YES, that was an important enough topic to blog.  So shut up.

I'm jealous

Not just because they get to lay around all day in the merriest place in the house, not giving a fuck who has to clean up their hair.

Because they get to lay around all day and not give a fuck about paying car insurance and whether Leah needs to go see the doctor for an earache and revising that story and wondering how the hell to accomplish world peace before it's time to flip the calendar page again.

Yeah. That's why.
 

And finally, quasi-acceptance?

Colin Meets Snow from Queen Alpo on Vimeo.

Skipping Step 2 and going straight to anger

Meet my winter face.  Get used to it.  It's staying on until April.

Brought Colin out for his first experience with snow.  I knew he was the perfect dog for me when he made the same face. 

That guy and snowflakes?  Not fwiends. 

No need humins aneemow.

If you give a blogger a video...

The other day I posted something about the crow rave outside my window. 

Today I'm posting something about Colin saying something about what I said about the crow rave outside my window. 

Tomorrow I'll post something about Leah saying something about what Colin said about something about the crow rave outside my window.

Colin in Stereo from Queen Alpo on Vimeo.

Fun with Ms. Stickers

Ms. Magazine had a booth at the Green Festival we went to yesterday (fun! fun!), and CK swooped down on their table, swiped up one of the "This is what a feminist looks like" stickers they were handing out and slapped it on his manly chest faster than I could say, "Wow, I've trained you well." 

I'm not even the least bit embarrassed to say I was the last one of the three of us to even notice the table and stickers.

I've never been more proud.  How did I end up with a man with such a sexy brain?  I kept drooling, even an hour later when we were at a neighborhood pub so CK could squeeze in a business meeting with a DC resident.  I interrupted several times with my flashbulb -- just couldn't help it.  Needed to capture the moment for all posterity:

Yep, kept flashing even after he gave me the infamous "Alli, enough!" look.

But that's not where the fun stopped.  See?

I'm so proud, I have tears in my eyes right now.  I'm not even kidding.

Hey, I could have put it in a more difficult place...

Leah asked Daddy to open a new jar of peanut butter for her lunch sandwich when I noticed Colin's eyes bugging out.  Alas, I couldn't resist.

This may be the most perfect evidence ever why no one should ever trust a Kaftan with an innocent soul: 

BECAUSE WE'RE CORRUPT, THAT'S WHY.

Colin Meets His Match from Queen Alpo on Vimeo.