Allison Unfiltered

Jackie Chan Deaflympics Vid

Like, cool beans, dude.  Jackie Chan makes dorky look sexy. Me likey.

Oh, DUDE!

Click on this to see some post-football carnage, courtesy of Todd Yoder over at Chris Cooley's blog.

Sportin' some major bruisage.  Even if you're not a 'skins fan, even if you can't tell a touchdown from a field goal, you'll appreciate the physicality of THAT bruise.

The thirteen-year-old in me is in heaven now.

DeafDC Crosspost: Redskins and Song Lyrics, Frenemies Forever

Now I have "Who Let the Dogs Out?" looping in my head.  Damn hearing people.  Damn Seattle Mariners for starting the whole thing...  have fun reading.

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The Blogosphere Reacts to Redskins Decision by Allison Kaftan
So I'm about two weeks slow on the uptake, but I've been watching the reaction to a federal judge's decision that the powers that be over at the Redskins' home stadium must caption all "aural content." (I'm obsessed with that phrase and am gonna abuse it as much ...[keep reading]

CK on National TV!

Okay, so SEEKAY himself is not actually on TV, but rather he's a teeny tiny part of a spot Toyota Line of Scrimmage did on my alma mater, Maryland School for the Deaf. 

This particular spot highlights the cheerleaders, and I love the way it makes the squad and school look -- like the fun and personally enriching place it was for me to spend my senior year of high school.

It'll air tonight during Sunday Night Football.

But I'm not biased AT ALL... when I say the best part of the video is this:

You've heard of "product placement?"  Well, I could not ask for better "spousal placement."  My smiling gorgeous partner's face, subtitled "My teachers are cool."  Perfect.  Absolutely perfect.

Go, MSD!  Orange and Black!

To see the 45-second video, click on over to CK's blog.


p.s.  Yes, it's true.  I was once an MSD cheerleader.  Sigh.

This made my morning.

Even though I'm tired of the way-too-early-in-the-season hype over the Redskins after they beat both Dallas and Philadelphia (front page of the WaPo yesterday?!), which means awesome things for our divisional rating, and, as the Curly R blog noted, our divisional road schedule is done for now...

I still liked seeing this blog first thing this morning. 

I love Antwaan Randle-El.  I loved him even before he made that awesome touchdown pass on Sunday.  And I love him even more after seeing him lead the post-game hip-hip-hoorays.

Hail... you know the rest.

DeafDC Crosspost: Deaf Swimmer Misses Start in Paralympic Final

Lights Down on Deaf Athlete's Paralympic debut by Allison Kaftan
Teigan Van Roosmalen, a deaf Australian swimmer, missed the start of a final race in Beijing on Tuesday at the Paralympic Games after the light on the block that was supposed to coincide with the starter gun malfunctioned. They immediately re-ran the ...[keep reading]

DeafDC Crosspost: Deaf Redskin Alert?

Deaf Redskin? Nah, Just Semantics. by Allison Kaftan
Well, who knew? Turns out, according to the Washington Times, Reed Doughty, Redskins safety, has a hearing loss. Don't get too excited. He's definitely not deaf. Just has a hearing loss. Gotta give up a simultaneous eye-roll and kiss-fist for ...[keep reading]

I thought that sign went out 20 years ago?

Like 85% of other politically sensitive Americans, these photos of the Spanish basketball teams and the Argentine futball team pulling their eyes in what is apparently a tribute to the Beijing Games threw me for a loop.  How offensive! 

For once, it's not the Chinese games organizers doing something to raise my eyebrows.

But in the spirit of thinking twice, I really like this quote out of the Guardian:

Let’s be clear: I thought the pictures were deeply unpleasant... But isn’t it up to the Chinese people themselves to decide how to respond? Indeed, condemning the athletes on behalf of the Chinese and their assumed hurt feelings might be regarded as an act of cultural imperialism – exactly the sort of mindset that lies at the heart of racism itself.

I only wish I knew where I could find some sort of Chinese response in what I consider mainstream media or even in the blogosphere.  Are you there, Chinese voices?  It's me, QueenAlpo.

(Huge H/T to Sociological Images: quote and photos found either there or via links posted there.)

Beside the golden door?

CK blogged this morning about what he calls "more evidence of Chinese brutality."  Sneak preview -- remember the awesome Confucian writing boxes operated manually during the opening ceremonies?  Two words: adult diapers.

Well, while he's reading ESPN, I'm reading about brutality of a different sort but no less violent over at Jezebel.

The women at medal ceremonies were chosen for their looks and poise.  I knew that already.  (Pic swiped from here.)

What I didn't know was the exacting nature of the screening process -- their eyes had to be 3/10ths as long as their faces, for example.

Then the equally long training: squeezing sheets of paper between their thighs, six hours standing in heels (personally, six minutes is torture enough), and smiling with only eight teeth showing (done by holding chopsticks between the canine teeth). 

I'm with CK in wondering whose bright idea it was to implement these standards and these training conditions.  Adult diapers are more than enough to make my jaw drop.  The coverups about stories like the paralyzed dancer I blogged about earlier and the lengths the Chinese organizing committee went to pull these stunts has me agog.

What the heck is going on? 

But c'mon.  You're reading a blog written by an American citizen, a proud resident of a country whose government has nonetheless committed atrocious mistakes of its own many times over. 

If that argument's a bit overarching for you, here's a bit of narrow superficiality for you: you're reading the writing of a woman who, one day, plans to have a stranger slice off her nipples via cauterization and probe around her mammaries in pursuit of a slightly improved figure. 

Wearing an adult diaper versus having body parts burned off? Hm.  Which one is more extreme?

So when CK quotes a Chinese performer like this:

“All the tears, the sweat, and sometimes even blood that we shed, I now think it was quite worth it...  When we performed that night, all that I could feel in my heart was joy. Pure joy.”

It reminds me to pull up the reins a bit.  I'm quick to judge the Chinese committee via the stories the media is happy to wave in front of our snobbish Western noses (and besides, doesn't it seem as if every story is framed to make the poor Chinese seem like they really, really, really want to impress more than anything else?!). 

But what I forget is that there are individual experiences going into this giant collaborative effort.  Instead of reading about the horrors of the Beijing Olympics, I think I'd like, for once, to read it from the horse's mouth.

That is, if I could just find the horse's mouth.  Help?

(brownie points for the first to get the allusion in this post's title)

Too bad he's not a cross-dresser

I must be watching Project Runway too much.  I saw the cover of Sports Illustrated, which is coming out tomorrow, and immediately began imagining ways to redesign the hardware into a bikini.  

Can you see it?  Imagine...

Red bandeau?   Gold and jade chainmail g-string? 

And the adorable underbite:  The perfect accessory to top off the ensemble. 

All together now:  YYYAAAAAAARGGGH!!!! 

*attempted vein bulging, a la Relay victory #1*

(Pic swiped from here)