Allison Unfiltered

Why spring allergies are like a fetish gone bad

Yep.  It's starting.  Just when I get giddy about seeing the cherry trees blossom I can't see them anymore; my nose itches and my eyes water and I start fantasizing about shoving my hands up my nostrils so I can scratch the prickly caverns of my sinuses back there.

Times like these, I curse our attempt to be Mother Nature's dominant top.  I read an article years ago that explained where all these allergies come from and why so many of us (especially in the cities and suburbs) have them compared to say, 60 years ago.  I'm sure it's not entirely accurate, what I just told you, or that the article had some arguable points, but the porniness seared itself into my pervy head.

See, some trees are gendered.  Some are male and some are female.  And way back when, some geniuses figured out that the way to keep our sidewalks and streets free of annoying female clutter like fruit and other tree crotch-droppings -- and therefore easier and cheaper to maintain -- was to plant only male trees.

Problem is -- where female trees drop fruit in our pathways (the audacity!), the male trees are kinder to our cleaning efforts and are considerate enough to spurt their seed into the air. So with the abundance of male, non-fruit-bearing trees lining our boulevards now, we get an overage of spores and pollen and whatever the hell else trees use to breed in the air ...and then we inhale it.

So next time you're wishing you could use a cheese grater to scratch the inside of your head, take a moment to appreciate what you're experiencing: 

Mother Nature just came all over your face. Take it all, baby -- oohhh yeah.

Fun with Ms. Stickers

Ms. Magazine had a booth at the Green Festival we went to yesterday (fun! fun!), and CK swooped down on their table, swiped up one of the "This is what a feminist looks like" stickers they were handing out and slapped it on his manly chest faster than I could say, "Wow, I've trained you well." 

I'm not even the least bit embarrassed to say I was the last one of the three of us to even notice the table and stickers.

I've never been more proud.  How did I end up with a man with such a sexy brain?  I kept drooling, even an hour later when we were at a neighborhood pub so CK could squeeze in a business meeting with a DC resident.  I interrupted several times with my flashbulb -- just couldn't help it.  Needed to capture the moment for all posterity:

Yep, kept flashing even after he gave me the infamous "Alli, enough!" look.

But that's not where the fun stopped.  See?

I'm so proud, I have tears in my eyes right now.  I'm not even kidding.

Full Moon Magick

According to my moon widget over on your left, tonight's a full moon. Whoo-hoo. 

Go ahead, do it now  -- Turn up your face and howl.

I'm looking up at it right now from my bedroom window and having an awfully hard time hanging on to the last shreds of crankiness I was entertaining while baking banana bread just a few minutes ago.

I've always loved full moons since I was a kid and decided that full moons were mandatory on Halloween, and so my birthdays were always blessed with a mysterious reminder of the world's whims.

In many pagan trads, full moons and the days working up to them are also a great time to do productive magick.  One example I've fallen in love with comes from Suzie, who's built up an impressive following of dreamboarders: every lunar month, these dreamers and magick-workers create a collage of whatever media they please of the things they'd most like to manifest in the coming month.

I think it's a cool idea, fun to do, and great for getting those creative juices flowing.  Besides, Lila, my beloved yoga teacher, has told me that a thought leads to an action, an action leads to character, character leads to destiny.  I love that circle of life.  It's kinda what I've always thought magick was.

Here's mine for this full moon:

(Click pic to see larger version.)

Innovation: Truth in Marketing

I like to think I didn't even notice this Tahoe's "brand" even though I was staring straight it it for the better part of two minutes while sitting at a red light and giving CK a full-blown lecture because it makes complete sense and didn't warrant a second take.  Plus what I was saying was much more important at the moment.

And I like to think CK interrupted my enthralling commentary to say, "Hey, look!" not because I didn't really notice it, but because he likes to highlight things and add emphasis with gestures. 

Take that, Mars and Venus.

My butt hurts thinking about it.

Raychelle over at the awesome blog eco-deaf has posted all relevant info for DeafYoga's Wamarva-area events in September. 

If you're near Gallaudet's campus, Frederick, or Greenbelt during the month of September, check it out. There's hatha yoga classes (the ones in which you actually move your body), meditation workshops (still your mind), chakra workshops, and more.

 All in ASL and all free ...although I'd encourage you to bring a donation of however much you see fit -- these people are doing this for free for a non-profit group, and I'm too broke to put them on my own personal payroll. 

Not only that, but if I could I'd take these wonderful people all, put them in my pocket and nom-nom on them whenever I could.  *ahem* Sorry.  Tangent.

The info is also up on DeafYoga's offerings page too, along with info about the mini-retreat back on the ashram October 17-19, with a special focus on investigating your true nature. 

If you're a regular reader of my blog, you know my last stay at the ashram was a truly cathartic experience for me, and you can bet your cute little Internet elfy ass that I will be there again.  Yes, even if it means voluntarily repeating physical self-torture.

Hopeful Shot in the Dark

Robek's Corporation
1230 Rosecrans Avenue Suite 400
Manhattan Beach, CA 90266

August 8, 2008

Dear Yummy Smoothie Makers at Robek’s:

Recently, after a hot afternoon at the library in Rockville, MD, I rewarded my six-year-old daughter for good behavior by giving her a choice between stopping at Starbucks or stopping at Robek’s.  Okay, okay, you got me.  I was in the mood for something cold and sweet too.

It’s no small compliment that Leah chose Robek’s for her treat – Starbucks has long been a favorite vice of ours.  When she walked in, she was thrilled beyond belief to see staff members scooping bright and fresh chopped pineapple and assorted berries into their respective containers.  Healthy and yummy, oh my.  I, as well, was excited to see the new addition of the probiotic boost to your menu.  Probiotics are something I’ve only begun to learn about, so it was cool to see that Robek’s is ahead of the curve!

However, soon after we walked out, we were chagrined to realize our prizes –- a strawnana berry for her and a strawberry swirl for me, both delicious -- had been handed to us in Styrofoam cups.  With your company’s commitment to community values and a healthy lifestyle, we’re sorely disappointed to realize that this commitment doesn’t extend to taking care of our environment as well.

I’d like to suggest that you consider joining The Green Restaurant Association, reachable at (858) 452-7378 and/or gra@dinegreen.com.  I am not a member or donor of this organization, but I do refer to it when making my dining decisions.  Similarly, they offer to companies like yours friendlier products to replace Styrofoam cups, such as these biodegradable and compostable cups, available on their website at: http://dgs.greenhome.com/products/restaurant_supplies/food_service/114309/. 

In the meantime, as much as we appreciated our treats from Robek’s on a hot summer afternoon, we will not be coming back until we can feel better about our purchases.  I do hope that won’t be too long!

Best wishes,
Allison Kaftan