The Doggy Diarrhea Blues
Oh, my honey done left me all alone,
With a kiss goodbye and a reminder
to keep an eye on baby dog's asshole
Sun rises and the grass is slowly turning,
and damn if I haven't put my eyes in,
But that soggy yellow mess sure ain't urine.
I've got the doggy diarrhea blues,
Stink in my nose and that ain't dirt on my shoes
I've got the doggy diarrhea blues.
Oh, my baby dog's butt is pissy.
He turns his mournful eyes on me,
And I can't yell when his hind end leaks mush,
Rubs his chapped tush
On grass, on carpet, on -- heaven help me,
I've got the doggy diarrhea blues.
When he starts doing that boogy doody dance
And his tail stops that happy wag,
I know I don't wanna see him shit his pants
Damn if I forgot where I put the poop bag
Don't matter much, I'm damned to hell
Turd soup slides down the chute easy
(but it don't pick up all that well)
I've got the doggy diarrhea blues,
Stink in my nose and that ain't dirt on my shoes
I've got the doggy diarrhea blues.
Please, baby, just get well.
Give me a good ol' hunk o' log
like on Tuesday when the sun
was shining and you saw the vet,
I know it's raining, but be a good dog,
Push it, squeeze it -- damn, boy, that's stinky, loud, and wet
On grass, on carpet, on -- heaven help me,
I've got the doggy diarrhea blues... Oh, I've got, I've got...
I've got the doggy diarrhea blues.
p.s. Likey-likey? Check out the official Diarrhea Song blog.
O...kay, this has got to be one of the grossiest but creativest blog posts I've seen in a while! I hope your doggie's doggie doos become firm soon!
Posted by: Josh | April 01, 2008 at 12:15 PM
*Sighs* *pushes my lunch away*
Posted by: sazzy | April 01, 2008 at 12:37 PM
OMG. NSFW!!!!!
Posted by: Kate | April 01, 2008 at 03:57 PM
OMG that is the most precious picture ever. To be honest I didn't read the gross song. I just love the picture. :)
Posted by: Melanie | April 01, 2008 at 06:45 PM
*sighs* Welcome to the realm of doggyhood. Poor baby. Have you made chicken and rice for him? That usually helps.
Posted by: Carrie | April 02, 2008 at 08:22 AM
uh...you could have warned me not to eat my lunch while reading this. ugh!
Posted by: LARRY | April 02, 2008 at 01:01 PM
are you sure he's not eating the cat food? Cause that's a sure cause of *I can't spell it* in puppies!
Posted by: Lara | April 02, 2008 at 07:50 PM
No warning?! EWWWWWWW! I'll go throw up now.
P.S. In case your vet didn't let you know, a diet of cooked rice for a couple of days is awesome food for dogs who have diarrhea.
Posted by: Keri | April 02, 2008 at 09:00 PM
Ah, the good old days of puppyhood. Brewster didn't have diarrhea so much as an issue with vomiting. He'd throw up at least once a day, sometimes twice a day. It got so I'd keep an eye on him and when he started gagging, I'd grab him and run for the door.
Enjoy it while it lasts :-)
Posted by: Tara | April 03, 2008 at 01:55 PM
ALLLLI!!!! I was eating an apple when I read this!!! EEWWW!!! GROSSSS!!! but that picture of Colin. *25* on my heart! Pooor thing, I wannna hold him.
Posted by: Barry | April 03, 2008 at 02:23 PM
my puppies had the exact same problem!! luckily you had grass, cuz i was cleaning the sidewalk as if it was a kitchen countertop.
our lifesaver came in a specific brand of dog food called 'id', found at the vet's. you'll be able to pick up the shit and crack it in half. ;)
Posted by: jeremy | April 14, 2008 at 12:08 PM